News & Community

Have a Dead Sexy 2013!

If you didn’t get one for Christmas, chances are you might well be on the look out for a new calendar. If you’re looking for something saucy, yet a little different, then how about the latest tastefully erotic calendar from the Polish company Lindner? Of course, there’s nothing new about improbable businesses promoting themselves with sexy calendars, with Italian tyre company Pirelli setting the fashion with their iconic version way back in 1964. What makes Lindner’s unusual, is that they’re a coffin manufacturer.Cofanifunebri

“My son had the idea of creating the company’s calendar so that we could show something half-serious, colourful, beautiful; the beauty of Polish girls and the beauty of our coffins,” explained Zbigniew Lindner, the firm’s owner. “So much work goes into our coffins that are only seen for a few moments at the funeral.” The idea proved a hit, and Lindner have been publishing a new calendar annually for several years now, each showcasing the company’s caskets alongside Polish models in artistic states of undress. “We wanted to show that a coffin shouldn’t be a sacred object – it’s furniture, it’s the last bed you’ll ever sleep in,” added Zbigniew. “It isn’t a religious symbol. It’s a product.”

As if their blend of sex and death wasn’t controversial enough, however, some felt Lindner really crossed the line by downplaying the sacred nature of funerals, particularly in a country as pious as Poland. Late last year, a local spokesman for the Catholic Church condemned the calendars as “inappropriate”, huffing that “human death should be treated with solemnity and not mixed up with sex”. Inevitably, perhaps, this isn’t the first time that their provocative calendars have embroiled the Polish coffin company in controversy.

calendar blog picBack in 2010, Lindner hit the headlines when they became involved in a feud with a rival casket manufacturer, the Roman business Cofanifunebri, after the Italians issued a sexy coffin calendar of their own. While Lindner’s calendar is along the glamorous angle popularised by the likes of Pirelli, Cofanifunebri take a more blackly humorous, sometimes Gothic approach to the business of death, also marketing T-shirts with slogans like ‘I told you I was sick’ and ‘got formaldehyde?’. For all that, the Poles were not amused by what they perceived as blatant plagiarism. “Our Polish girls are prettier and our coffins are better and more exclusive,” fumed Barthosz Lindner. “It is our idea!”

Calendar 2013 FlyerIf the calendars from Lindner or Cofanifunebri are a little too ghoulish for your taste, then of course Alchemy publish our own official calendar ‘The Rune Faerie’ [CAL13]. While we’ve endeavoured to weave a little eroticism into our version, the Alchemy 2013 calendar emphasises enchantment and the esoteric over funereal themes. However you choose to plan and enjoy the year to come, Alchemy would like to wish a productive and pleasurable 2013 to all of our customers and friends!


To buy your very own Official Alchemy 2013 Calendar [pictured above], click the link to browse our list of Alchemy Dealers:

Comments are closed.